between rafts

by livergirl

Spending some time with friends and family back home, I discovered some interesting things about how different I am. It’s just…I’m trying so hard not to become ‘Singapore’. But at the end, I’m not like them either.

Or maybe it’s just a matter of comfort zone. Being at home is always comforting. There’s always something familiar. So in the end, many feel safe and secure, and they don’t want to leave her. Maybe a little bit of disturbance in life is somehow good. It makes you want to explore.

Several of my relatives are willing to go abroad. But…I don’t know if they ever going to be ready. I mean, they are older than me, and their life is pretty much settled. I just can’t see the willingness to step out of their comfort zone, and the passion to reach something more than what they have achieved.

Four years ago, a very good friend of mine refused to go abroad, even though her parents are capable of funding her. When I think about it, it also maybe she was reluctant to live a new life. However, I’m sure she did a great job in her study here.

Another good friend is also considering to go abroad…for her boyfriend. Which I totally can’t understand. (How come!? What was she thinking?!?!) But whatever. I’m glad she finally considers that option.

I felt we, as an Indo, whine a lot. And I saw that we didn’t do much. There is something so wrong with the system and why don’t we do more?

Or maybe we just can’t. Of all the bad things, I’m really sad for discrimination. In races and religions. Why do we have to always be the 3rd class citizens? (Although it is constitutionally banned (is it?), practices are everywhere). Maybe what people here had done for us in generations shaped us to be ignorant…

I still love this country, I do. It’s just that it seems that she doesn’t love me as much.

I hope it’s just me, though. I mean, even sometimes I thought God doesn’t love me (duh).