a new name for Ace
This better be the last time my dad talk to me about any violin thingy because seriously, he’s driving me CRAZY like every time.
So first of all, he freakingly adore my new violin teacher it gets so annoying. Of course, he is a great teacher and I love how he (the teacher) makes me remember how happy I was when I played back then. But the next thing, the annoying thing, is how he (my dad) thought that every one of our teachers (me n my sister’s) before were completely sucks and contribute to all of our weaknesses. My goodness. How inappropriate is it. Okay my previous teacher wasn’t so hard on me and he was okay to skip lessons and just chat over a bowl of meatballs once in a while if I was having a bad day. And maybe 40% of our sessions were filled with football talk or whatever. But come on, give him some credits. And through him I felt the first joy of playing Ace. If it wasn’t for him, I wouldn’t have scored grade 4 now (after 4 years of absence).
The second one is the paradox. He always said he doesn’t know anything about violin, but he constantly thinks that he know. Last Sunday I went to MG to change my chin rest (it was rusty) and buy a tuner so I can tune by myself. Of course there were many violins hanging and he told my sis to start looking for a new violin since I’m bringing Ace (I’m giving him a new nickname). My sis then take a look on a violin similar to Ace (a chinese-made Hoffner-licensed one) and a German-made Hoffner-licensed one. And he insisted me to compare them also. “You have more experiences than me. You should be able to give opinions about the sound”. Who said that he doesn’t know anything?
You know what? I can’t sense the difference. For me both are okay. I mean, please, if I was blindfolded, I might can’t even recognize a Stradivari. So I said I don’t know and it’s up to my sis. She’s going to play it after all. And then he got quite mad and said, “I am disappointed in you” and stuffs like that.
And that I can’t take. Disappointed? I BEG for a violin for years and practice since the second I got it until A level sucked my life. How can he be disappointed? He contributed to half of my DNA. If I can’t hear the difference, I should blame him, for I take excellent care of my hearing.
The last one (it was just happened a few hours ago), he suddenly asked to my teacher if I could take an exam for a certificate. What is going on with him?! And he was like all “it was all for you”, “it will be good to have one official certificate” and “you need to look forward and set a goal.” You know what, I don’t want a bloody certificate now. I play for myself, and for God. I practice until I’m happy with my performance. I don’t need another paper to fill my collection and to write another line in my resume just to tell myself that I’m happy playing Ace.
And you just can’t let down a 9-year-old kid and then an 11-year-old preteen, let her struggle for years of playing with minimum support (when you can give her more) and suddenly be so enthusiast and involved then expect her to achieve what you want 12 years later.
So the main thing is, I’m not gonna let him take a single credit of this. I appreciate the 3.1mil for Ace and hundreds ks for the equipments, but all he’s done is taking me down on this. So just step aside and let me play, for that’s the only thing I wanted.