a simple life. can it be?
Di NTU ini gue sering banget mendapat kesan kalau kita diarahkan untuk menjadi entrepreneur. Mulai dari adanya minor in entrepreneurship sampe email berbagai talk tentang topik ini. Kesannya yoi banget deh. Duitnya apalagi. Seakan-akan kalo lo nggak jadi entrepreneur kok kayaknya nggak ada yang bisa dibanggakan *oke gue lebay*.
Gue termasuk orang yang jujur, sama sekali nggak berniat untuk bikin usaha sendiri. Apalagi kalo bener-bener sendiri. Kalo bikin bareng orang-orang yang emang lo percaya banget, ya itu lain soal.
Gue pernah bilang tentang ini ke biefef gue, dan dia bilang, “Yah sebenernya konsepnya bagus sih. Jadi kita diharapkan untuk membuka lapangan kerja bagi orang-orang yang so called nggak secerdas kita dan berpendidikan lebih rendah,”
Wew. Buat gue, that’s a very good philosophy. Tapi balik lagi ke masalah gue, gue nggak pengen untuk masuk ke entrepreneurship thing ini. Suka nggak suka gue juga jadi makin sadar akan harapan orang-orang akan gue. Ya at least gue pasti diharapkan lah untuk support bonyok gue. Mungkin ade gue juga sedikit. Diharapkan untuk lulus dengan baik, kalau bisa lanjut ke jenjang yang lebih tinggi. Ya dan diharapkan untuk membuka lapangan kerja.
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Kalau boleh jujur, gue cuma pengen hidup yang simpel. Punya anak. Membesarkan anak-anak gue. Kerja yang jam kerjanya bener nggak pake overtime berlebihan. Yang nggak banyak orang kiasu. Sekolah demi memuaskan hasrat gue akan ilmu dan bukan supaya bisa kerja lebih bagus dan gaji lebih gede. Kerja karena gue mencintai apa yang gue kerjakan.
Ckck terlalu ideal ya? Okelah mungkin gue harus hidup lebih sederhana. Shop less. Spend less. Tapi menurut gue, that’s okay. Masalah dibalik itu adalah kalau pergaulan gue dengan orang-orang yang standarnya diatas gue, sehingga ntar ada lah rasa rendah diri bla bla bla. Maybe I should move and start it all over again?
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Dulu gue nggak gitu lho. Mungkin pengaruh SMA cewek semua, gue jadi punya keinginan lumayan tinggi. Dulu bahkan pengen hidup sendiri nggak perlu suami..hahaha. Wew. Yah tampaknya Singapura sudah membuka mata gue dan mengubah mindset gue.
Kadang gue berpikir kalau aja gue nggak seperti ini. Yang lebih rendah level kecerdasannya. Yang lebih rendah level finansialnya. Pastinya harapan ke gue jadi lebih rendah. Dan gue juga pastinya akan terbiasa dengan gaya hidup yang nggak semahal sekarang. Contoh paling sederhananya aja, ade gue sendiri. Dia memang agak kurang kalo tentang natural science. Bokap gue yang ipa-oriented banget jadi nggak terlalu menekan dia. Asal nggak dibawah standar. Lebih dibebaskan untuk mengikuti interest dan hobbynya. Beda dengan gue dulu. Yah itu entah pengaruh gue anak sulung = filter jadi dia uda dapet yang enaknya juga sih.
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Intinya, I just want a simple life. Can it be?
How I wish.
nail polish
Gatau kenapa ya, tapi gue emang suka banget pake nail polish alias kuteks dari dulu. Rasanya seneng aja gitu kalo kuku gue berwarna selain warna naturalnya. Ngliat2 oom wiki sih katanya berasal dari Cina 3000 BC dan cewek-cewek dari berbagai kebudayaan dunia juga suka ngewarnain kukunya dari jaman dulu.
Kalo diliat dari bahan pembuatnya, sebenernya kuteks ya simply racun. Coba aja kalo sampe kehirup kan baunya uda berasa racun gitu. Belom lagi removernya juga. Dan dengan warna kayak gitu, meskipun bodyshop bilang punya mereka itu environmental friendly or whatever, mana mungkin sih itu alami?
Gue kadang-kadang mikir kenapa gue suka ngewarnain kuku gue. Uda jelas nggak alami, dan cukup beresiko juga. Nggak bikin tambah bagus juga kok. Dulu pas SMP (fase Linkin Park), gue suka banget pake kuteks item pas liburan sampe sodara2 sepupu gue sering ngejekin gue abis kejepit pintu 
. My ex jg selalu ngomel kalo gue pake kuteks (wth). Apa mungkin karena dulu gue dilarang dan sekarang jadi puas2in mau pake? (Sampe SMA kan dilarang, although gue suka pake yg bening. Pas SMP pernah pake yang pink dan ga ketauan 
). Bagaimanapun, baru 2 taon gue lepas dari kehidupan SMA. Mungkin gue masih euforia pengen melakukan segala sesuatu yang tadinya dilarang.
Dan untuk gue, ini juga rada menyiratkan keadaan dan mood gue. I mean, pas kemaren gue sakit, kayaknya sama skali ga niat untuk pake kuteks. Bahkan males untuk pake warna terang gitu yang pakenya rada ngasal pun ga keliatan. Kalo lagi stress kayaknya juga males deh. Tapi kmaren gue niat gitu belajar. Di sela2nya gue tiba-tiba pengen aja pake kuteks warna gelap. Semester kmaren gue inget gue immediately pake kuteks pink-orange gitu right after my last day of exam. Kayaknya semakin gue lagi seneng semakin sering gue ganti warna kuku. Geje memang
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Anyway, sebenernya gue lagi ngantuk aja tapi mesti part time jadi gabisa tidur dan akhirnya berujung maen fesbuk dan ngeblog 
. Kalo inget ntar gue foto ah botol2 kuteks gue (ada belasan paling nggak) 
ternyata ada 16 botol...gw kira paling 12an...belom lagi yg di indo
Aktualisierung
It has been a long looonnngggg time since I wrote! Exactly it’s been 11 days.
Maybe there are some people wondering how am I doing. Well, I’m good. I skipped almost the whole classes after recess for the quizzes and because I wasn’t feeling well, but now I’m catching up. And I have an essay for my music module due to Good Friday, and I have no idea what I’m gonna write. So far the progress is 300 words of nothing. But the sun’s shining. And life’s good. It’s just the time is running out.
The doctor gave me lots of vitamins to be taken in the morning. Yeah well hopefully they’ll work. And my mum has cleaned my room! I’m soooo upset about it. Really. Now I can’t find anything because they’re all in other places. Argh!! I hate it when people clean my private space without my permission. I think now I better go outside to study, because everytime I look around, I feel upset again.
I’m happy my mum came, but as usual, I hate it when she’s trying to change me to someone I’m not. Someone more cheerful and someone more outgoing, more open. Control my temper and blah blah blah. Although life’s hard in Singapore, I’ve found my place here, most of the time. People like me and people hate me. And actually, if she didn’t say those things, I feel my life’s good. But now part of me is angry at her, and another part of me knows that I can’t be angry at her, or else it will drift me away from God. I feel kinda lost. Cause I can’t pray and be angry at the same time, especially to my own mother. Thank God she’s only here for 4 days. Any longer, then I’ll find it much harder for me to forget.
I’m praying to have Him near. I’m praying for His peace to be in my heart.
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My good friend has just got hitched. Happy for her and the guy (I’ve met the guy and I knew he’s a good person). And as usual, I envy them so much! Aaa…when will my prince come? 
static
this week is just moving so fast
and I’m static
coz I don’t have the energy to wake
I’m sorry all
It’s not like I don’t want to be with you through these
I don’t know why my body can’t stand usual singapore aircon
why my body can’t stand this usual humid weather
why my body has to rest for more than 8 hours a day
why I feel unwell almost everyday
why I feel this dizzines over and over again
I’m sick of it, really
I want to be my old self
the one that can chat until 3 am and still attend her 10.30 am lecture
(although she skip the 8.30 one)
the one that can watch any night football match (and sleep way after that)
the one that can walk all day and still sleep late
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PS: I’m going to a medical checkup tomorrow and hopefully the result will explain what’s happening.
sick…again
I’ve been sick for more than 2 days now. It started on Sunday evening after a whole day at church. I think I just cannot stand freezing under air-con for hours. Moreover, it was raining outside so the temperature was even lower. Then after finally I could get out, the air was very humid outside (after rain). By the time I finally reached my room, my body was warm and I felt dizzy.
After long hours of sleep (was having insomnia until 2am and woke up at 10am), I felt better. But in my afternoon lab session, the air-con was very cold, and I had to be there for almost 3 hours. And it was raining outside (again). And again, the air was very humid when I got out. And I fell sick, again.
Last night I studied for my quiz until 12am. Then again, I had insomnia until 4am. This morning I woke up at 8.28am, and my part time starts at 830am at School of Biological Sciences. So I changed my clothes, grabbed my stuffs, and walked as fast as I could. I was late for 15 mins. Luckily my partner was absolutely fantastic. She even offered me to do easier things so I could have last-minute-study. And she didn’t mind when I left 15 mins earlier so I could be on my tutorial room on time.
My quiz was…well, not good. But not a disaster also. Given my condition for the last two days, I think that’s the best I could do.
I skip all the other classes today. I took shuttle bus and go home. Wash my face (I can’t take bath because there’s no more hot water at 1130am), and give some treatment to my bloody cracked lips.
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I didn’t take meds (paracetamol) until last night, because I’m afraid I will be addicted (I take paracetamol everytime I feel unwell and to make me sleep). And also, I still don’t know if this sickness is a real sickness or it’s just part of that cycle. I think I’ll wait until this week before going to mc.
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I need to sleep. A good long sleep.
deja vu? :p
Hari ini Liverpool main lagi.
Sama kayak 3 hari yang lalu:
Again, gue nonton di hall 13 lounge 64
Again, cewek yang nonton cuma gue (treakan gue paling high-pitch gitu )
Again, Liverpool cetak 4 gol
Again, Dossena jadi pelengkap penderita
Again, gue feel pity sama salah seorang pemain lawan (in this case it was Rooney)
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Berarti kalo mau nonton Liverpool lagi mesti disitu deh
Comments Off
I took a day off today (read: I skipped all day). Valid reason? I’m not feeling well since yesterday, even though I’ve taken medicines and vitamins. But no worries, I think it’s just part of the cycle (which I really hate).
Invalid reason: I didn’t attend this week lectures so I wouldn’t understand what the tutorial is all about.
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This day has been amazing. Not because I ran away from my school, it’s just I really enjoyed what I’ve done today, all alone.
Do my laundry.
Re-arrange my wardrobe.
Re-fold my clothes, and iron some.
Sew back some buttons to my pants.
Clean my room.
Organize my files.
Tidy up my desk.
Maybe I should quit school, find a man, and become a housewife instead .
Anyway, what I’m trying to say that these things…they’ve lightened my day. I was so happy I forgot to eat (I had my “breakfast”, two biscuits and some milk, at 2.20pm). Love it when finally the things are placed where they’re supposed to be. No worries about the transistors, transformers, matrices, signals, or whatever. No worries about this course I took for the sake of a bachelor degree which killing me slowly. No worries about the campus activities I took for the sake of experience and points, but I’ll still end up homeless. No worries about how do people think about me. No worries.
If only this day last longer than it should be.
friend request
Saat ini ada 20 friend request di account facebook gue dengan range friends in common dari 2 sampe 84. Dan nggak ada intention untuk approve.
Sori ya kalo gue ansos, tapi menurut gue social networking secanggih Facebook terlalu berbahaya kalo gue accept orang-orang yang nggak jelas. Sebagai seorang yang kepo dan menikmati banyak fitur Facebook, gue tahu orang bisa banyak mendapat informasi hanya dari Facebook, dan gue nggak mau orang-orang yang nggak kenal sama gue menikmatinya dengan gratis.
Menurut gue, nggak penting lo harus temenan di Facebook sama:
- pacarnya temen lo (kecuali, of course, kalo itu biefef lo dan/atau lo kenal juga pacarnya)
- temennya temen lo kalo friends in common < 20
- sodaranya temen lo kalo friends in common < 20 dan/atau temen lo jg nggak deket2 amat sama lo
- seseorang yang berasal dari almamater (atau organisasi) yang sama dengan lo kalo emang nggak kenal
- public figure kalo dy nggak kenal lo (chance untuk palsu gede. lagipula itu nggak membuat lo jadi hip)
- seseorang yang lo nggak mau jadi temennya karena berbagai alasan tapi nggak enak kalo nggak accept karena pengaruh society
- journalist yang nge add untuk korek-korek berita
Jujur gue kadang sering ‘gatel’ pengen nge-add orang yang lagi gue kepoin kalo hubungannya ga cukup deket dan nggak bisa kepo lebih jauh…hehe…tapi untungnya sampe sekarang kayaknya nggak pernah. Intinya, nggak penting untuk temenan di Facebook sama orang yang lo nggak kenal.Gue percaya hubungan pertemanan yang bener itu dimulai dari pertemuan langsung, mostly. Emang ada beberapa persen chance, but why take the risk?
as for today
- ternyata surat yg mesti diambil di ISC itu surat buat pemilu (duh pilih apa ya…)
- pulangnya ketemu si cantik (nyaris dicakar soalnya dy uda ga kenal gue) tapi ga ketemu momo
- gue di-reject untuk jadi race official Singapore F1 GP taon ini
- kuis-kuis gue kok ga ada yg berhasil yah?
- kamar gue berantakan banget lebih messy daripada sirkuit gue kmaren
- gue pilih 3011 dan 3015 untuk major elective gue…yang berarti menuju ke spesialisasi Power Engineering
- suddenly banjir notes di facebook pasca deadline first draft *swt*
- gue mulai merasa butuh vacuum cleaner baru
- besok ada presentasi aai185, mesti ngarang tulisan buat lunchtime concert tadi (yg gue cuma dateng 20 menit), dan nyiapin bahan ktb.
- Liverpool menang 4-0 (agg 5-0) atas Real Madrid!! (feel sorry for Casillas, though. He was great but his teammates, esp the defenders waren eine Katastrophe…ckckck)
something wrong with your circuit lar…
Nyaris lupa mau cerita soal lab hari senen kemaren.
Iya jadi dengan bagusnya, jadwal lab gue kembali mengharuskan gue lewat tempat insiden senen lalu. Kali ini di S1-B3b-23. Gue jalannya udah mepet-mepet tembok aja deh.
Dan lab kali ini adalah…electronics. Bikin-bikin sirkuit gitu di breadboard. Sebel deh jadinya kan messy banget gitu. Kabel-kabel berseliweran warna-warni udah kayak apaan aja.
Setelah merangkai sirkuit super-messy itu (yang tersambung dengan satu clock generator, satu power supply, dan satu oscilloscope), gue dan lab partner gue nyalain mesin-mesinnya dan melihat ke oscilloscope.
Tau kan kalo oscilloscope tuh nampilin gelombang2 gitu. Meskipun meliuk-liuk tapi kan tetep lurus gitu garis tengahnya. Nah gelombang kita kali ini tuh meliuk ke bawah. Mati deh. Yauda kita panggil deh si lab technician.
Dia nyuruh kita ngecek si clock generator sama power supply pake oscilloscope. Ternyata normal.
“These three machines work properly. That means something wrong with your circuit lar,” katanya sambil nunjuk mesin-mesinnya trus dia pergi.
Gue dan lab partner gue melihat dengan lemes ke sirkuit kita yang uda ga berbentuk.
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Untung beberapa menit kemudian miraculously gelombangnya jadi bener…
