livergirl

As the time pass by me, there’s one thing I realize:

Being a Christian maybe is the most difficult thing to do

Living outside my hometown changed my perception a lot. Change my perspective of looking at the world. I learn to adapt outside my comfort zone. I learn to deal with people. And mostly, I learn to be a Christian.

When I was younger than now, being a Christian is like a ritual. Everybody are Christians (or Catholic, since we believe in the same and only God). It’s very easy to be one, because I live among them.

I went to church, I read bible in the church, I participated in church committee, I served Him as a musician (in ensemble). When I was 15, I went to “katekisasi” [dunno the translation in English ><] class. I said I believe in God truly. I am a Christian, I was sure at that time.

Later when I reach Singapore, I face ‘a simplified real world’. I met non-Christian people, I met non-Indonesian people, I met people I like, I met people whom I simply can’t get along with. I see people do things that shouldn’t be done. I see people do things which Jesus will surely not approve. I see people act nicely then do bad things behind their back.

I see that my Christian life in the past was not good enough. I see now that I was really ‘blank’. I thought I know what does it takes to be a Christian. I thought that going to church every Sunday and said to everybody that I believe in Him is enough.

But I realize it’s not.

It takes much much MUCH more than that.

It takes all my life.

All my rational view.

All my world.

To resist what the world say, and only do what God has said.

To serve Him with all my strength and my heart.

To love everybody like Jesus has loved us.

To be kind to your enemies.

To forgive.

O heavenly Father,
may You grant me wisdom
to deal with this life
to choose Your way whatever it takes.
to love You more and more every time.
to be what You want me to be
to do what You want me to do
to serve You with all You gave to me

I am blessed, really. I truly hope that I will be a better person, a better friend, and most importantly, a better Christian.